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A psychological inquiry: How to calm your frustrated spvp teammate(s)?


koxsos.6258

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Hello, I would like to inquire about how to stimulate a positive game attitude in structured pvp teams.

I understand there is a lot of frustration which automatically comes with a random matchmaking system and AFK players and what not.

I also understand that while most players can behave maturely and carry out their supposed pvp tasks to perfection, it is not uncommon that any player action in game can trigger a behavior that makes people resort to destructive teamblame and other obviously not overly helpful behavior.

 

Is there a good inspiring copy pasta which would resonate with both males and females who tend to think themselves extremely superior to everyone else in game and enter a pubescent rage when things do not go exactly as they envisioned? I would just love to have something to paste in chat to calm them down or even prevent them from going there.

 

I will not deny that I myself can be a source of such frustration, and that "OMG I AM LEG SMURF YOU RETARD" kind of folk hate me doing anything imaginable from saying hello to occasionaly getting caught in fight off point, which obviously is incorrect to do.

 

Thank you for whatever input.

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You can not calm someone in this game's PvP mode, because PvP is bad and boring, a stagnant development for 6 years. If at first there were teams, to calm each other and rethink everything at respawn, now players are forced to play alone (or with a friend) while majority of team is formed of randoms.

 

PvP is dead, do your dailies and get over it fast. If they do not care for 6 years, why would you care?

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> @"koxsos.6258" said:

> Thank you for whatever input.

Sadly, nothing you say will de-escalate the situation. Your best bet is to simply refuse to engage them, and block if necessary for your own sanity. I prefer not to block, because I like to be aware of what's said. If they say anything abusive report it, and hope that they eventually receive enough reports that an involuntary vacation clears their attitude. There's nothing more *you* can do.

 

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Personally, I find the best strategy is similar to dealing with trolls: don't feed people's bad habits. If someone starts mouthing off, focus on what to do next. If mid falls awkwardly, go far and return to fight another day. People who think it's helpful to throw salt in their own whine aren't likely to be swayed by any form of rhetoric, no matter how clever.

 

****

 

To calm people in a static, start by grouping up with people who can handle disappointment with aplomb. We all have bad days; find people who don't take them out on their teammates.

 

In a PUG, there is no silver bullet that is going to work on even most people, let alone everyone. People's temperaments vary wildly. There are any number of posts on Reddit (and some made here) of people who insist that it's the other guy's fault for being bad, for ganking, for using a cheeze build, for whatever it is that set them off. Heck, we have famous examples of infamous people who refuse to accept any responsibility for their actions and can barely manage a polite non-apology of "I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my actions."

 

You can turn off chat (at the expense of useful communication) or you can learn to not worry about what other people say. The use of the /block and /report functions can help with that.

 

 

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> @"aswedishtiger.7320" said:

> > @"MyPuppy.8970" said:

> > We'll all die eventually, so let's be nice to each other, and enjoy this **GAME**. There are worse things in life to worry about.

>

> This sounds like somebody who goes 0-10 and thinks that's "fun" oh all the while queuing in the "competitive" mode

 

It doesn't prevent me from playing seriously and giving my all. Just out of respect for the rest of the team and everyone's time invested, including mine.

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Playing well, staying positive, and remaining calm is all you can do really. People will become toxic and escalate regardless, but people are generally less explosive when they're either on the winning team or their teammates aren't feeding into their tantrums or provoking them.

 

Just ignore the ones who fly off the handle over nothing. They just like to hear themselves cry.

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I sort of suspect that people who rage the most in games are the ones who have lots of stress in their own real lives, and gaming is a way to vent (or to ignore their issues waiting outside the computer).

 

So, they may actually be raging just as a way to transfer their real life frustrations into the game.

 

Thus, it may be hard to actually find something to say that will help them unless it somehow relates to their real life, out of the game, issues.

 

Thus, that seems to belong to the realm of the impossible.

 

Being kind and sharing love rather than bile may be the only thing left to do, and it may not even have a good effect if others just become jealous of your positivity.

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I'm a nice person. If you see me being mean to someone, they deserve that sh1t!

Now that is is outta way. Imma old moba player, I have seen worse. Most of the time it's sublimating or/and compensation RL problems. There are some that just couldn't take it anymore. Prolly had several games with people trolling, dc or without general knowledge of the match mech

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since they seem to know everything, ask them what should've been done. that usually helps. you could try to buddy up by saying something like "yeah man I know how you feel but mm sucks everyone knows that try not to let it get to you". could also say "yeah you (or we) will bounce back next match watch. that random mm ftw sometimes". these ppl occasionally lose it in unranked. I let them know that unranked is more like team deathmatch and to try to enjoy it instead of raging for no point.

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our team was losing with approx100 points less and as usual i was sniping enemy team players with my glass build(I'm not a skilled player but try to use the class advantage for my team from 1500 range (temple of silent storm mid point... ranger advantage)) and the enemy player who was killed by my burst got toxic and used the map chat and mentioned my tag and started name calling and throwing Salt sacks (i ignored the chat anyways) :p and even after every spawn, he ignored his team fight and started running towards me everytime and got killed from afar (he might've targeted me but his team didn't focus on me)... his team lost the match....

 

the drama didn't end there...

after 30 mins or so, the matchmaking put me and him on the same team.... and the match didn't even begin... he started calling me the **S** word... and was typing a huge essay in the chat spewing toxic nonsense... and we got wiped in that match... it felt as if one guy afked complete duration of the match

 

I reported him twice.... but didn't block him... hope Anet captures the screenshot of the chat and takes necessary actions..... after that incident, I din't encounter him... I believe Anet exact judgement on that player... :)

 

So my suggestion to calm your frustrated teammate is to paste the following:

**"Don't lose your cool and make us lose our fight"**

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> @"Crystal Paladin.3871" said:

> our team was losing with approx100 points less and as usual i was sniping enemy team players with my glass build(I'm not a skilled player but try to use the class advantage for my team from 1500 range (temple of silent storm mid point... ranger advantage)) and the enemy player who was killed by my burst got toxic and used the map chat and mentioned my tag and started name calling and throwing Salt sacks (i ignored the chat anyways) :p and even after every spawn, he ignored his team fight and started running towards me everytime and got killed from afar (he might've targeted me but his team didn't focus on me)... his team lost the match....

>

> the drama didn't end there...

> after 30 mins or so, the matchmaking put me and him on the same team.... and the match didn't even begin... he started calling me the **S** word... and was typing a huge essay in the chat spewing toxic nonsense... and we got wiped in that match... it felt as if one guy afked complete duration of the match

>

> I reported him twice.... but didn't block him... hope Anet captures the screenshot of the chat and takes necessary actions..... after that incident, I din't encounter him... I believe Anet exact judgement on that player... :)

>

> So my suggestion to calm your frustrated teammate is to paste the following:

> **"Don't lose your cool and make us lose our fight"**

 

The S word? I'm blanking.

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> @"AngelLovesFredrik.6741" said:

> > @"Crystal Paladin.3871" said:

> > our team was losing with approx100 points less and as usual i was sniping enemy team players with my glass build(I'm not a skilled player but try to use the class advantage for my team from 1500 range (temple of silent storm mid point... ranger advantage)) and the enemy player who was killed by my burst got toxic and used the map chat and mentioned my tag and started name calling and throwing Salt sacks (i ignored the chat anyways) :p and even after every spawn, he ignored his team fight and started running towards me everytime and got killed from afar (he might've targeted me but his team didn't focus on me)... his team lost the match....

> >

> > the drama didn't end there...

> > after 30 mins or so, the matchmaking put me and him on the same team.... and the match didn't even begin... he started calling me the **S** word... and was typing a huge essay in the chat spewing toxic nonsense... and we got wiped in that match... it felt as if one guy afked complete duration of the match

> >

> > I reported him twice.... but didn't block him... hope Anet captures the screenshot of the chat and takes necessary actions..... after that incident, I din't encounter him... I believe Anet exact judgement on that player... :)

> >

> > So my suggestion to calm your frustrated teammate is to paste the following:

> > **"Don't lose your cool and make us lose our fight"**

>

> The S word? I'm blanking.

 

bowel movements maybe?

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> @"AngelLovesFredrik.6741" said:

> > @"Crystal Paladin.3871" said:

> > our team was losing with approx100 points less and as usual i was sniping enemy team players with my glass build(I'm not a skilled player but try to use the class advantage for my team from 1500 range (temple of silent storm mid point... ranger advantage)) and the enemy player who was killed by my burst got toxic and used the map chat and mentioned my tag and started name calling and throwing Salt sacks (i ignored the chat anyways) :p and even after every spawn, he ignored his team fight and started running towards me everytime and got killed from afar (he might've targeted me but his team didn't focus on me)... his team lost the match....

> >

> > the drama didn't end there...

> > after 30 mins or so, the matchmaking put me and him on the same team.... and the match didn't even begin... he started calling me the **S** word... and was typing a huge essay in the chat spewing toxic nonsense... and we got wiped in that match... it felt as if one guy afked complete duration of the match

> >

> > I reported him twice.... but didn't block him... hope Anet captures the screenshot of the chat and takes necessary actions..... after that incident, I din't encounter him... I believe Anet exact judgement on that player... :)

> >

> > So my suggestion to calm your frustrated teammate is to paste the following:

> > **"Don't lose your cool and make us lose our fight"**

>

> The S word? I'm blanking.

 

of all the things, you were concerned about the word... :)

anyway if i type it, the forum filters would replace it with **KITTEN**

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